A fellow graduate student and writer, Corrine Rizzo, was wondering if she wanted to pursue a PHD. No, she thought. Not really. This, naturally, led to interesting ways to get herself arrested. I decided to help.
1) Be Annoying. In my hometown it is actually against the law to be annoying. Yes, we were in the national papers, a sterling example of the extent to which small areas are able to dissect the US constitution without their sleepy, middle class populations stirring. Of course the law does stipulate that it’s a repeated offense, but we all know it’s an excuse to stop those damn hippies from hanging out in the park after dark. As one of those damn hippies, I plan to spend a good deal of my winter break making a nuisance of myself in exciting ways. Actually, I was informed you can't get arrested for this. There is no punishment. Ah well. Let's try something else.
2) Perform petty theft while wearing a ridiculous outfit. Like an animal suit. Or a full Joker costume. Or no outfit. I really can’t elaborate on this suggestion. I think it’s pretty self explanatory.
3)Get a fish drunk. No really. It’s illegal in Ohio. Let’s go fish us up some catfish. We’ll carry them into a bar and set them on a table and talk about their ex-girlfriends and buy them shots. I’m not entirely sure how you tell when a fish is intoxicated. Perhaps they flop more awkwardly. Maybe they start sobbing about their long lost minnow love. For that matter, just how high is a fish’s alcohol tolerance? There is really only one way to find out.
4) Whaling. Let’s grab some pirate hats and a row boat and sail the Hocking River. We’ll drink and sing and battle the ancient Leviathan who have haunted the dreams of humanity since they built boats and wandered back to the sea. We’ll carve harpoons from swivel straws and paperclips. I’m excited.
5) Breaking windows. Hey Corinne, wanna grab some rocks and break some windows? I dunno. Cause it’s awesome.
6) Punch someone on the face. No not me! Go find a jerk. It’s a college campus. They’re a dime a dozen. Go find someone who’s said something terrible to his girlfriend, or a girl who is plotting the destruction of her sorority-mate. Punch them. You may want to practice on a pillow. Don’t run away afterwards. Simply stare at them. Offer no explanation. Give suggestions during the 911 call. Await police arrival. Done and done.
7) Bait Car. Go find a bait car. There are completely legal totally not entrapment tools that the police park on street corners with the keys in the ignition. Hang out in one. Have a beer. For extra effect, read through a copy of the Communist Manifesto. If you don’t own one, steal a copy from your local Borders on the way. When the cops show up, be certain to call them fascists, or capitalistic pigs, or a politically oriented insult of your choice. [May be combined with 2]
I hope this helps, Corinne! Good luck.