The following is the cliff-notes version of the conversation that just occurred in the office:
Me: I would like to go to the bar, but my car is here and that makes maneuvering difficult. Instead, I will go and get icecream! It is basically the same thing!
Grad Students: We concur! This is superior maneuver!
Later....
Grad Student 1: My goodness! This is like drinking except I am not drunk!
Me: And you can drive!
Grad Student 2: And make better decisions!
(Actually those last three were direct quotes)